


London Town

by My_Trex_has_fleas



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, London, M/M, Politics, Stripping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:41:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7089358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Trex_has_fleas/pseuds/My_Trex_has_fleas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This AU is a direct result of conversation with the amazing viella-art. Thank you for letting me bounce ideas off you and encouraging/enabling all of this XDDD. Also a big thank you to the copper river for the beta read and fixing my appalling spelling :) </p><p>Hux is married to his job working for the Minister of Defense. He has a flat and a cat, but he sleeps alone every night. That is until a birthday surprise changes all of this and he meets someone who's completely unsuitable and all kinds of wonderful. </p><p>This will be a mess of a soap opera, with everyone and their dogs making an appearance XD.</p><p>ON HIATUS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Happy Birthday, General.

‘It’s your birthday on Friday.’ Phasma was leaning against his desk looking stern. In her capacity as his Close Protection Officer she was wearing an immaculately tailored trouser suit in black and a scarlet silk tie that matched her lipstick, coupled with a snowy white shirt, her short platinum blond hair slicked to one side and a concealed shoulder holster holding her slimline Glock G36 pistol. Hux thought that she looked absolutely devastating and once again thanked his lucky stars that he was immune to the charms of the fairer sex.

‘That may be, but I see absolutely no need to draw attention to the fact.’ he replied, shuffling the papers on his desk for emphasis. ‘Now, if you’ll be so good as to leave me alone, Captain, I do have work to do.’

‘His Nibs’ meeting is only at three.’ Phasma said. ‘And you need to eat lunch.’

Hux snorted with laughter at the unofficial nickname of Lord Tarkin, the senior Minister of Defense that he worked for as his Secretary. He’d worked hard to rise to where he was and at a borderline thirty-five he was the man who had the ear of the Minister of Defence.

‘What did you have in mind?’ he asked, knowing that Phasma would not give up until she had her way. She tapped her short scarlet nails against the polished wood of his desk.

‘I was thinking Chinese. Dim sum?’ she said and Hux nodded.

‘That sounds fine.’ He pushed himself away from his desk and stood (up), adjusting his own immaculately tailored suit, a soft slate grey with a pistachio green tie that brought out the colour of his eyes. Hux was fastidiously neat and well turned out, his public school education and stint in the Armed Forces, at least until he made Lieutenant-Colonel and decided to go into the Ministry, had left him with a legacy of dapper dressing that bordered on dandyism at times. His suits were all hand stitched, his ties silk and his shoes perfectly polished. Phasma took the piss frequently, but Hux knew that she respected him and frequently pointed out to the other close protection officers how good he looked. He picked up the silver cigarette case from his desk and pocketed it, then checked that he had his phone and wallet.

‘Lead the way.’ he said and Phasma grinned and herded him out, taller than him at six foot three even in her flat shoes.

They got to the front office and his two assistants looked up from their computer screens. Hux walked over to Mitaka’s desk and fixed him with a steely glare. Inwardly he smirked at how Mitaka always seemed to look vaguely terrified.

‘Phasma and I are going for lunch. If you and Thanisson manage not to burn the office down while I’m gone, you can leave an hour early today.’ he said. Behind him, he could hear the sound of Thanisson punching the air very quietly. He was embroiled in a torrid affair with another PA named Unamo from two floors down, an older woman who apparently kept him quite busy. No doubt an afternoon assignation was about to be arranged.

‘Yes, sir.’ Mitaka said. He’d also been in the Army, a Lieutenant when he’d come across to join the Ministry. ‘Shall I tell the Minister if he asks where you are?’

‘No.’ Hux said and strode out the room.

They took a car to Soho, Phasma calling to make sure that a table would miraculously materialise once they walked through the doors of Yauatcha, a favourite haunt of his. The maitre d’ knew him by sight, his flaming red hair an easy identifier.

‘Good afternoon, Mr Hux.’ he said, extending one slender hand. ‘Your table is waiting.’ Hux gave him the chilly smile he reserved for service personnel and followed him to a small booth at the back of the restaurant. He sat down and Phasma took the seat opposite him. Hux counted her as more than a colleague and they frequently ate together. They accepted the menus they were given and Hux waited for the inevitable. Sure enough, once the waiter delivered their sparkling water and jasmine tea (he never drank on duty), she gave him that look.

‘It’s not up for discussion.’ Hux said, holding up the menu to block out her piercing blue gaze.

‘I’m arranging a party for you.’ Phasma said and Hux sighed. He lowered the menu.

‘What did I just say?’ he asked.

‘I think we’ll go out.’ Phasma said. ‘Somewhere a little risqué.’

‘I don’t need you to organise me anything.’ Hux said, putting the menu aside. He didn’t know why he actually looked at it, he had the same thing every time he visited. ‘I do have friends, you know.’

‘That are mostly scattered throughout the military and the Diplomatic Corps halfway around the world.’ Phasma sipped her water, leaving a perfectly shaped red stain behind. ‘Now, nor more out of you or I shall call your mother and have her arrange something.’

‘Christ no.’ Hux said. ‘Anything but that.’ He looked at her and she gave him a somewhat smug smile. ‘Fine, but just the office.’

‘Just the office.’ she repeated. ‘Leave it to me.’

‘Why do I get the feeling that this is a terrible idea?’ Hux said.

After lunch, he ducked into the small courtyard at the back of the restaurant to have his post-meal cigarette. He leaned against the wall, inhaling deeply and contemplated his life.

Phasma had a point. He’d had plenty of friends when he was still and enlisted officer, had been popular with his peers even. But almost five years of working himself to a standstill, weeks of fourteen hour days and a great many nights when he’d continued working even when he’d stepped through the doors of his flat in Pimlico with its views of the Thames and exorbitant mortgage, had whittled his social life down to practically nothing. In truth he preferred it that way, needing nothing more than the company of his cat Millicent and a bottle of 18 year-old Dalmore.

‘Fuck it.’ Hux said to himself, throwing his cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his heel. He went back inside and saw that Phasma was on the phone.

‘Of course, Mitaka.’ she replied. ‘I’ll make sure he’s there in twenty minutes.’ She hung up and made a face. ‘The meeting’s been moved up.’

‘Balls.’ Hux said. He gestured to the waiter for the bill and Phasma stood up to join him. ‘By the way, I have decided that you have my blessing.’

‘Not like I needed it.’ Phasma chuckled. ‘I’ll call for the car.’ She stepped to the side while Hux paid for lunch, surreptitiously checking the time.

They stepped out into the afternoon sunshine and Hux was in such a hurry to walk across the pavement to the waiting car that he failed to see the shadow that crossed his path until the bulk that it belonged to crashed into him and nearly knocked him off his feet. Thrown off guard, he took the offensive.

‘Watch where you’re bloody going!’ he all but shouted and the man he’d run into lifted both hands in apology, taking the massive headphones off his ears. Hux was somewhat alarmed to see that he was tall and worryingly good looking with dark brown hair that flopped in his face and eyes to match.

‘Sorry dude.’ he said, his face a cheerful grin. ‘Didn’t see you down there.’

Hux bristled. He wasn’t sure what irked him more, the patronising crooked smile or the American accent.

‘For one thing,’ he snapped, ‘you ran into me. For another, we are practically the same height.’

‘Whatever dude.’ The man’s smile broadened. ‘I’m just trying to get to work.’ And with that he neatly sidestepped Hux and trotted off down the street. Hux gaped at the man’s insolence and watched as he merrily jaywalked across the road to a plain black door set into the wall of the building opposite, knocked once and was swiftly admitted.

‘Did you bloody see that?’ he demanded. ‘And you were no bloody help.’

‘He was hardly going to mug you.’ Phasma said calmly. She looked across at where the man had gone inside. ‘Now isn’t that interesting?’

‘What is?’ Hux paused halfway into the car.

‘Oh, nothing.’ she replied.

**********

Friday came around rather quicker than Hux would have liked. He was woken by his phone ringing insistently. It was his mother calling from Cannes and Hux suffered the platitudes and birthday wishes from both her and his father, feigning interest until he could finally get her off the phone. He lay back down and looked at Millicent where she was curled up next to him. Hux smiled and reached out, scratching behind her ears. Millicent purred and remained as undemanding as she normally was. He got up, showered and dressed. Today’s suit was a plain sober black, his tie an iridescent sea green. He inserted the antique white gold and sapphire cuff links that had arrived by registered mail from his parents two days before and chose a pair of brilliantly polished black Oxfords to complete the look. Then he spent twenty minutes making sure his hair was gelled perfectly into place and spritzed himself with No. 88, now ready to face the world.

In the kitchen, he listened to the news and then ate a breakfast of muesli and Greek yogurt and drank two cups of black coffee. Millicent accompanied him, eating her cat food from her bowl on the counter. Hux ran his hand down her back, smoothing her orange tabby fur.

‘Thirty-five today, old girl.’ he said. ‘Maybe we should chuck it all in, go and live in a cottage in the Highlands. What do you say?’ Millicent said nothing.

Hux chuckled and grabbed his things from the counter. His car was waiting for him downstairs and his driver wished him a happy birthday when he got in. Hux smiled politely and accepted the felicitations with grace. When he got to Whitehall, he went straight upstairs. The building was still coming alive, but Hux was an early riser and appreciated the quiet to get things done. Unfortunately he was outdone by Mitaka. His assistant was already at his desk and Hux sighed.

‘Do you ever go home?’ he asked in lieu of a greeting. Mitaka frowned like he didn’t understand the question.

‘Sir?’ he asked and Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and swept past him into his office.

Phasma turned up at nine with a cake and four coffees. Hux suffered through an out of key rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ and smiled in when their gift turned out to be a lovely leather bound edition of Milton.

‘I don’t actually hate it.’ he said and Phasma grinned like she’d won the lotto.

‘Well, your proper surprise is tonight.’ She said and Hux sighed.

‘Just what are you lot planning on subjecting me to?’ he asked and they exchanged conspiratorial looks.

‘Just you wait and see.’ Phasma said.

The rest of the day passed as most Fridays did. It was relatively quiet, the Minister having already left for his home in Cheltenham. At seven o’clock Phasma came into the office and sat down opposite him.

‘Are you ready?’ she asked and Hux frowned.

‘I need to go home and get changed.’ he said. She shook her head.

‘And weasel out of it?’ she said. ‘Not a chance, mate.’ She got up. ‘Now get your skinny arse out of that chair and prepare to have some fun.’

‘For fuck’s sake.’ Hux groaned.

He followed her into the front office and saw Unamo perched on Thanisson’s desk, her skirt riding up just enough to reveal an old fashioned black garter belt holding up her sheer stockings. No wonder Thanisson was so smitten. She stood up and gave him a severe look which he assumed passed as approval in her book.

‘Happy Birthday, sir.’ she said and he nodded at her. She seemed to favour the same style as Phasma, her mouth scarlet and her hair severely styled.

‘Let’s get this show on the road.’ Phasma said, rubbing her hands together and looking positively gleeful.

They walked instead of taking the car and Hux frowned as he noticed that they were walking towards Soho.

‘Where exactly are we going?’ he asked and the others all snickered.

‘Dinner and a show, sir.’ Mitaka said, looking uncharacteristically animated.

They got to the street Yuautcha was on, and for a moment Hux thought that was where they were going. Instead, Phama led them across the road and to the black door from the a few days before. Hux looked at her questioningly as she pressed the intercom. After what seemed an age, someone answered.

‘Welcome to the Citadel.’ The voice said. ‘How may we help you?’

‘Party in the name of Phasma.’ Phasma said and the door buzzed. She pushed it open and they filed inside. Hux found himself in a staircase that lead down. The walls were painted a rich velvety dark blue and there were little inset lights in the ceiling which made it look like a starry sky.

‘What the hell is this place?’ he asked as they descended.

‘It’s a club.’ Phasma replied. ‘A very exclusive club.’

Hux wondered exactly what she was getting him into and then they were at the bottom of the stairs. They stepped into a room, lined with booths upholstered in black leather and backlit with red and pink neon lights. Then he saw the stage in the middle of the room and the single chrome pole.

‘Oh my God.’ he said, stopping to stare at what he was seeing. ‘Is this a strip club?’

‘It’s not just a strip club.’ Phasma said. ‘It’s THE strip club.’ She turned around and then next thing he knew she was tugging his tie loose. ‘You need to have some fun, Hux. And what better way than to watch a bunch of fit blokes take their clothes off for your viewing pleasure.’

‘I can’t believe this.’ Hux said and then nearly fell over as they were approached by what could only be described as Greek god in tiny silver hotpants.

‘Party for Phasma?’ he asked, flexing a magnificent pair of pecs. ‘This way please.’ He led them to a table right at the front of the stage and they sat down. Hux now noticed that there were other patrons, men and some women and all extremely well dressed. Another waiter came over with a silver ice bucket containing a bottle of Bollinger and five glasses. He opened it and poured it out for them and Phasma raised her glass.

‘To _our_ General.’ she said. ‘Tarkin may hold the rank, but we all know who does the bloody work. Here’s to your birthday and hoping that tonight you take the stick out of your arse and actually have a good time for once.’

‘Hear hear.’ Thanisson said and they all drank. Hux sighed and sipped his champagne.

‘I suppose it’s a cut above other places.’ he said and they all grinned. Hux wasn’t particularly perturbed by the fact that they all knew he was gay, mostly because they would rather have died than make something of it.

‘You’re telling us.’ Thanisson said. ‘Even I am looking forward to this, and I’m straight.’

‘So what exactly goes on here?’ Hux asked Phasma.

‘Dinner and a show, like I said.’ She was smiling broadly. ‘The Knights of Ren shall entertain you like no others possibly could.’

‘The Knights of Ren?’ Hux couldn’t resist a chuckle. ‘They sound ridiculous.’

‘That may be, but they are all rumoured to be absolutely shredded.’ Mitaka said, emboldened by the champagne. ‘To borrow the appalling Americanism.’ Hux looked at him and Mitaka blushed.

‘I guess we now know where your tastes lie, Mitaka.’ he said.

Dinner turned out to be superb, a lobster soufflé starter followed by lamb cutlets and finished off with a sticky toffee pudding that was diabetes inducing in its sweetness. Hux thoroughly enjoyed all of it, including the four bottles of St Julien that went with it. By the time their table was cleared and brandy and coffee was served, he was feeling warm and extremely content. Then the lights dropped and the only illumination were the soft glow of the neon and the candles on each table. The entire club was now packed and there was a distinct sense of anticipation in the air.

Music started to play, dark and hypnotic, and smoke machines strategically placed on either side of the stage began to exude a mist that covered the stage and tumbled off the edge. Downlighters at the edge came up slowly as seven figures, all robed and masked in black strode out onto the stage.

‘Here we go.’ Phasma’s whisper was gleeful.

Hux shook his head and gave into what was turning out to be possibly the oddest birthday he had ever celebrated.


	2. You Can't Be Serious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening takes a turn for the unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's dancing is so based on that gif from This Is Where I leave You with him doing the appalling dad shuffle.

Hux wasn’t sure whether he wanted to giggle hysterically or be horribly turned on by the whole thing. 

He was well on the way to being a whole lot drunker than he’d been in ages and the unlikely sight of the Knights dancing around on stage in their tiny black booty shorts that left nothing to the imagination and their masks which showed nothing of their faces was surreal and hilarious all at the same time. Next to him Phasma was drinking brandy form a fishbowl sized snifter and laughing like a drain. Thanisson and Unamo were missing most of the action because they were sucking face and Mitaka was simply sitting there with a look on his face that gave him the appearance of a scandalised maiden aunt.

On stage three of the Knights were performing what looked like a very acrobatic pyramid effect while still managing to shake their crotches in the general direction of the audience. Hux was not very familiar with exotic dance revue, but he could tell they were in a place of some acclaim judging by the rapturous applause and the waving of twenty-pound notes. They seemed to do most of their work in pairs or small groups with one exception. The one who had come onto the stage at the head of the group for the opening number had yet to reappear. Hux also noticed that the men in the tiny silver shirts were also moving in and amongst the tables and taking orders for private dances, which seemed to be in very high demand.

‘Would you like one?’ Phasma asked him, noticing him giving a passing waiter the once over. ‘It would be our gift to you.’

‘Good Lord, no.’ he replied. ‘I can’t imagine anything worse than have some sweaty bear of a man pawing at me.’ He sipped his own brandy. ‘What I would desperately love though is a cigarette. Excuse me.’ He got up and moved through the room, searching for anything that resembled an exit. He finally found one that didn’t appear to be alarmed and opened it. It led into a small courtyard at the back of the building that was in darkness save for the light pouring out of what appeared to be the kitchen door. Hux smiled as he listened to the music coming from the room and the sound of people chatting amidst the clash of dishes. He dug his cigarette case out of his pocket and took out a cigarette. Then he patted his pockets for a light and huffed when he realised that he didn’t have one. He was constantly losing them and as a result only carried the cheap plastic ones.

‘Bollocks.’ Hux muttered around his cigarette, hating the idea of having to go back inside to ask Phasma for the emergency lighter he made her carry. He eyed the door of the kitchen and then out of the shadow on the opposite side of the courtyard a shadow loomed. There was a distinctive click and suddenly Hux was being faced with a lit Zippo held a few inches from his face. He couldn’t see the person holding it, only an outline of them, and leaned in to light his cigarette. He inhaled deeply and blew the smoke out in a very satisfying plume.

‘Thank you.’ he said. There was a soft huff and then the flare as the person holding the lighter lit their own. 

‘Don’t mention it.’ The voice sounded horribly familiar. ‘Have you recovered from running into me the other day?’ Hux frowned and then put two and two together.

‘You.’ he said accusingly. The shadow shifted and moved towards him and Hux glimpsed a smile. ‘You’re the one who ran into me.’

There was a huff of laughter and a cloud of smoke.

‘So tell me, what’s guy like you doing in a place like this?’ the man asked. ‘You don’t really look the type for this kind of scene.’

‘I’m not.’ Hux replied. ‘My colleagues have dragged me here under the misapprehension that this would be a fun thing to do on my birthday.’ He tried to peer into the darkness. ‘You work here, don’t you?’

‘Ten out of ten Sherlock.’ The lazy amusement in the man’s voice got right up Hux’s nose. ‘It’s your birthday?’

‘Forget I said that.’ Hux snorted. ‘This is precisely the reason I never celebrate it.’

‘That’s a shame.’ the man said. ‘Birthdays usually get the house special.’

‘Christ no.’ Hux almost choked on his cigarette. ‘Whatever it is, I certainly don’t want it.’ 

‘Too bad.’ The shadow shifted and moved. ‘You might have liked it.’ Hux watched as the man walked past him. ‘Anyhow, got to get back to work.’ There was a flash of dark eyes and that damnable smile again as he walked past Hux, flicking his cigarette into the darkness behind him and disappearing into the open kitchen door. Hux caught sight of a broad back in a black t-shirt and heard the other kitchen staff greeting the man as he went in. 

He finished his cigarette and went back inside, only to find Mitaka even more scandalised than before because Phasma had paid for a lap dance and he currently had one of the Knights straddling his lap and waving his genitals in his face. Hux came to stand next to Phasma and she stopped snickering to look up at him.

‘Isn’t it glorious?’ she asked and Hux chuckled. 

‘He’s going to have an emotional breakdown, Phas.’ he said. ‘Why do you do these things to the poor boy?’

‘Because it amuses me greatly.’ Phasma said. ‘I live vicariously through the embarrassment of others.’ She gave him a quick up and down. ‘You’re still standing. We need to remedy that.’

‘No.’ Hux sat down. ‘I am quite happy with the status quo, thank you.’ He looked at his watch. ‘Besides it’s almost one in the morning. I ceased to be civilised an hour ago.’

‘You can’t go now, sir.’ Thanisson protested. He had Unamo in his lap, her brown hair escaping in tendrils from its bun and her scarlet lipstick smeared all over his mouth. ‘The main attraction is next.’

‘Christ.’ Hux heaved a martyred sigh. ‘Very well, I shall stay for that and then I am going home. Millie will be wondering where I am.’ He leaned back in his seat and signalled the waiter, ordering another round of drinks. The Knight on Mitaka’s lap finally came to the end of his gyrations and dismounted, leaving Mitaka prone in his chair as he tried to recover. Hux took his drink from the waiter and chuckled into the glass. 

Then the entire place went black.

Music started and Hux frowned. It wasn’t the overly energetic club stuff the other Knights had been dancing to. In fact it sounded like…the B52s?

The stage lights came up slowly to illuminate a tall figure dressed in a black suit, white shirt and black tie. He was standing with his head bowed and yet another of those stupid masks on. He wasn’t moving, simply standing there. Hux looked at Phasma who shrugged.

‘Performance art.’ she said. ‘That’s Kylo Ren. He’s a little different.’

‘How do you even know this?’ Hux asked and she grinned. 

‘It’s my business to know.’ she replied. Hux shook his head at her and went back to watching the dancer. 

It was a unique performance to say the least. He’d certainly showed that he was capable of dancing every bit as energetically as his colleagues in the opening number, but now the man Phasma had named as Kylo Ren (a terrible choice for a stage name Hux thought) was shuffling around, looking for all the world like a mildly rat-arsed bloke at a wedding reception as he danced with what seemed like a minimum of effort.

The B52s changed to Boris Pickett and now Hux was convinced that this was all a magnificent piss take. He couldn’t believe that this was meant to be a serious part of the show after the very professional choreography he’d already seen. And yet everyone around him seemed to be hanging on every move the man was making. 

And then the jacket came off and was casually tossed aside and Hux started to have a sneaking suspicion as to why. For one thing, those shoulders. No-one should have been entitled to have shoulders that broad. The music changed again and now the dancer seemed to be picking up speed, although he still seemed to have stolen most of his moves from someone’s dad. Then the shirt came off, ripped down the front with a rather overdramatic gesture and the crowd burst into life, roaring its approval. 

It certainly got Hux’s attention. He stared. In fact if he was being honest with himself, he gawked. 

The dancer was perfection itself, every muscle beautifully sculpted as if from marble. Hux had spent his fair share of time in the V & A admiring classical statuary and he’d never seen anything quite like this.

‘Careful.’ Phasma said next to him. ‘You’re starting to dribble a little bit.’

‘Shut up.’ he retorted. ‘Oh dear God.’ On stage the dancer was starting to undo his trousers. He ripped them off as well, somehow managing to make it look ridiculously sexy. Underneath he had the same black shorts but there was something else, something that the strategic lighting directed up from the edges of the stage managed to highlight beautifully. 

‘Great balls of fire.’ Mitaka said, apparently still shell shocked.

‘That can’t be real.’ Hux was appalled. ‘It’s too big.’

‘Apparently he’s well known for it.’ Phasma sounded beyond smug. ‘Biggest dick in London. That’s what the website says.’ 

The gyrating continued through another song and then Kylo Ren was crawling across the stage in their direction. Hux felt an urge to flee. Thankfully the dancer stopped at the edge of the stage, rocking back onto his heels and doing what could only be very politely described as rhythmic pelvic thrusts in their direction. Up close, his cock was even more intimidating than Hux had first assumed. 

‘I think I am going to have to go to confession after this.’ he said to Phasma, who screamed with laughter and merrily took a twenty pound note out of her bra and stuffed it down the front of the offered crotch area. Then to his absolute horror the music change again and Kylo Ren to one step off the stage and onto their table. He was dancing more sensually now, all rippling abs and muscled thighs, and Hux could feel his face getting uncharacteristically hot. He tugged at his collar, trying to look everywhere but at the monster cock on display in front of him, the thin fabric of the shorts not doing anything at all to hide it.

‘Oh my.’ Phasma said. ‘Wild Boys indeed.’ 

‘Christ.’ Thanisson said, rather too loudly in Hux’s opinion. ‘He’s huge.’ Kylo Ren nodded in his direction and gave him the finger guns. 

‘I can’t believe this.’ Hux was on the verge of breaking into demented laughter at the surreal nature of it all. ‘I need to go home.’ That made Kylo Ren’s head whip around. He stalked to the edge of the table and jumped off, then grabbed Hux’s hand and pulled him up and out of his chair before Hux could even protest. Then to his absolute horror, he found himself being very unceremoniously picked up and heaved over one shoulder and carted off.

‘Phasma!’ he bellowed but she was too busy laughing. Hux could only stare helplessly at her retreating form as he was carried off to the general hoots and cheers of everyone around them. ‘Put me down this instant!’ He tried to wriggle but found that he was being held firmly. Thoroughly put out he folded his arms and huffed as Kylo Ren carried him past the stage and through a deep red velvet curtain that led into a long corridor. 

They came to the first door and Hux was taken through into a small room. It was empty expect for a massive armchair, upholstered in the same red velvet as the curtains, and a small table to the side of the door which was now being firmly shut with a large foot. The walls were painted black and there was a glitter ball hanging from the ceiling that cast little floating lights everywhere. 

Kylo Ren came to a stop and set Hux down. Hux was ready to yell in his face for having been accosted when the dancer spoke. It came out mechanical and commanding. 

‘Please sit down.’ It was clearly not a request in spite of the ‘please’. 

‘No.’ Hux protested. ‘I most certainly will not.’ He folded his arms. To his amazement the next thing he got was a rather ominous sounding chuckle. 

‘It’s your birthday.’ Kylo Ren intoned. 

‘So bloody what?’ Hux demanded. ‘That does not give you the right to manhandle me out of there.’

‘But birthdays get the house special.’ This time the voice was clearly amused and Hux narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he recognised a familiar tone. 

‘You!’ It was an accusation of the highest order. ‘I thought you worked in the kitchen!’

Kylo Ren raised his hands and there was a click as the catches on the mask released. He lifted the mask off, shaking out his dark hair and grinning at Hux like a man possessed.

‘Surprise.’ he said. Hux shook his head at him.

‘You wanker.’ he said. ‘I am starting to have doubts as to your mental state.’

‘You wouldn’t be the first.’ Kylo said. He put the mask on the small side table. ‘You should be flattered. I don’t take the mask off for anyone. Now sit the fuck down so I can give you your birthday present.’

‘What?’ Hux was confused. 

‘Sit.’ Kylo placed one overlarge hand against his chest and shoved and Hux ended up sprawled in the armchair. He spluttered in indignation as he attempted to sit up straight.

‘This is ridiculous.’ he said. 

‘No.’ Kylo replied. ‘This is a complimentary lap dance.’ He moved and Hux couldn’t stifle the squeak of surprise that came out of him as Kylo straddled his knees. 

‘What the bloody hell are you doing?’ He could hear that he’d gone shrill but there really wasn’t anything for it.

‘Shhh.’ Kylo was far too close for comfort and Hux could only stare at him. Up close he could see the oddly attractive asymmetry of his face, the scattering of dark moles and full lips that suggested a hundred sinful delights if only Hux would take the stick out of his arse. He swallowed noisily.

‘I…’ It got stuck in his throat and Kylo smiled. 

‘Relax.’ he said, his voice pitching low and making Hux’s pulse stutter and speed up. ‘I’m a professional.’ He braced both hands against the back of the armchair. ‘Just sit back and enjoy the ride.’ He was moving now, and the physical proximity coupled with the fact that Hux hadn’t been ridden properly in a very long time caused shivers to go up his spine.

‘Fuck.’ It came out flat and Kylo chuckled. He wasn’t quiet sitting on him and his thighs flexed in a very interesting way as he undulated over Hux’s lap. 

‘I wonder how hard I can make you.’ he said and Hux thanked every deity that the room was dark and his furious blush wasn’t visible. 

‘I thought that was against the rules.’ he stammered and Kylo tossed his head, dark hair flying out of his eyes which were black in the light of the room.

‘I make my own rules.’ he said and then he sat down. This time the squeak came out as Hux realised that he had a lapful of very attractive man to contend with. Not only that but…

‘Oh God!’ he exclaimed as he realised that not only could he very clearly feel that stupidly huge cock, but that it was halfway to being a very hard stupidly huge cock. 

Suddenly his body was paying very close attention.

‘What?’ Kylo leaned in and Hux could feel his breath ghosting very his mouth. ‘Don’t you like it?’

‘Whether I like it or not is not the point.’ Hux was quickly getting desperate as his own cock decided it very much wanted to play along. ‘This is extremely unprofessional.’

‘Fuck professional.’ Kylo said and then he ground down against Hux in a way that had Hux gasping. He hadn’t experienced anything quite like it before. He was moving hard and fast and all of Hux’s senses were screaming at him. He tried to bite his lip to stifle his noises, but a whimper came out and Kylo laughed, deep and rich and wicked. He was holding fast to the back of the chair and angling his hips down and Hux knew that there was no way in the world they could pretend they weren’t touching cocks.

‘Christ.’ He was breathless, and the old heat curled in his belly as he dug his fingers into the arm of the chair.

‘That’s it baby.’ Kylo was starting to buck and it felt so good Hux realised that he was on the verge of coming in his pants like a horny teenager. ‘Fuck, yeah…’ 

Hux dug his nails into his palm, white lights going off behind his eyes as he came. Over him, Kylo rode it out for only a few more seconds and then moaned, drawn out and wrecked, as he did the same. 

Hux was mortified.

He barely gave himself a chance to even recover from what had just happened. He shoved at Kyo Ren and was momentarily astonished as the dancer, caught off guard in a fog of post-orgasmic bliss, fell off his lap and onto the floor. Hux got up and made for the door of the room, not even hesitating as he charged out to the sound of a deep laugh and a shout of ‘Happy Birthday!’


	3. You Again!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seems like the Fates are set on intervening...

Hux woke up with a hangover and the feeling he’d done something that he really shouldn’t have.

Then he remembered.

‘Oh, fuck me.’ Hux groaned. ‘Jesus Christ.’ He put his arm over his eyes. He could blame Phasma. Yes, that seemed like a sound strategy. There was a mew and a gentle prod to his chin. Hux peered out from under his arm. Millicent was sitting next to him with an expectant look on her face. She mewed and lifted her paw to tap his chin again. Hux frowned and leaned over to the chair that served as his bedside table. He picked up his phone and looked at it, the time slowly coming into focus.

‘Bollocks.’ he muttered. It was after eleven. Millicent waited patiently. Hux was about to put the phone down but just as he was about to do so, it rang and he was so startled he almost dropped it off the side of the bed. He looked at the screen and was greeted with the obnoxiously smug grin of Phasma in the selfie that she’d set as her screen shot. Hux was tempted to ignore it but he knew that if he did, she would just keep calling and if he didn’t pick up eventually she would come to his doorstep and bellow from down on the street. He answered the phone and braced himself.

‘Hello.’ he sounded like he’d had his throat sandpapered.

‘Morning General!’ Phasma sounded disgustingly cheerful. Hux knew that she seemed to be physically impervious to hangovers and hated her for it. “Are you up?’

‘No.’ he snapped. ‘I most certainly am not.’

‘I take it our run will be then be postponed.’ Phasma sounded immensely pleased with herself.

‘Not postponed, Phas. Cancelled. I am taking the day off.’ Hux said and burrowed back down into the bed. 

‘Really?’ Phasma sounded surprised and Hux knew why. Saturdays were usually scheduled as follows: a run with Phasma along the Thames and in and around St James’ park followed by a sparring session in the basement Hux had turned into his work-out room and then a light lunch. This was followed by him either wandering off to a museum or heading to the office to get a head start on the paperwork for the week. Then it would be home, a delivery from one of his favourite restaurants and a few glasses of single malt while he sat and watched the sun dip through his window and listened to some jazz. 

But not today.

‘Do you want me to come round?’ Phasma asked. ‘I could bring you some ibuprofen.’

‘No thank you.’ Hux replied. ‘You’ve done enough.’ He hung up to the sound of her laughing in his ear. It took him a while to drag himself out of bed but he finally made the effort. He’d gone to sleep in his shirt and socks, having discarded his soiled boxers at some point. 

He sat up, wincing at the pain in his head. Maybe ibuprofen wasn’t such a bad idea. He got off the bed and shuffled to the bathroom, sliding his socked feet across the wooden floorboards because he knew that even the sound of his footsteps would have been a traumatic experience. Once there, Hux gave himself a once over in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he’d been on the piss for a week. He shed his shirt and stood on the ends of his socks to pull them off and then went to switch on the shower. He was mildly disgusted to discover cum still matted in his pubic hair and scrubbed at himself until he was clean. Millicent was sitting on the closed toilet seat watching him when he got out and dried himself off. He dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, padded out of the bedroom and downstairs with her trotting at his heels. 

The fridge yielded little in the way of anything that his hangover induced state demanded to satisfy the growling in his stomach. Hux huffed in irritation, then looked at Millicent. He’d already given her food and she was eating with her tail in the air. It was now already midday and Hux contemplated his next move. He could take a walk down to the nearest supermarket. It would clear his head and he could indulge in some fast food to bring back with him. There was a Sainsburys three blocks along towards Westminster and he needed cigarettes. 

Hux sat down long enough to pull on his red converse (the only concession to the young man he’d once been along with the leather jacket he’d bought with his first paycheck when he was seventeen and still thought he would be an artist or musician or some stupid thing like that) and walked to the front hall, stopping momentarily to grab his keys and wallet from the console table and shove them in his pockets. His eyes fell on his sunglasses, kept in their case next to the wooden bowl he chucked all his belongings in every time he came home. It wasn’t particularly sunny out, but Hux took them out and put them on as a precautionary measure.

The walk was further than he recalled for some reason known only to his brain. It turned out to be seven blocks, not three, and by the time Hux got there he was knackered. He went inside, thankful for the air conditioning and grabbed a shopping basket. He had no idea what he was in the mood for so he began drifting aimlessly through the shelves, stopping to study things. He very seldom went to the shops himself, preferring the anonymity of online shopping. With Phasma usually supplying coffee and cigarettes. 

By the time he got to the section with the medication, Hux had two bags of Doritos, cheese and chive dip, two frozen pizzas and two packets of bacon pieces in his shopping basket. He had yet to walk past the soft drink aisle but had decided to address his headache first. He put the shopping basket down, pushed the sunglasses back on his head and started to peer at the boxes of pills on the shelf. Even making that simple decision felt like an insurmountable task. 

‘You know they’re all the same right?’ The voice cut through his hangover like a laser through James Bond’s trousers. Hux’s head shot up and he found himself staring into a pair of eyes that were warm and full of amusement. He was momentary lost in their kaleidoscope of colours, brown and green and gold flecks all merging together. Then he pulled himself together and straightened up. On the other side of the shelf, the man he knew as Kylo Ren stood and gave him a cocky grin.

‘You.’ Hux said and the grin widened. He noticed that Ren’s teeth were crooked and should have felt repulsed. Instead, he found them startlingly endearing, just like the oversize ear that currently had a hank of dark brown hair tucked behind it. ‘Are you following me?’

‘No.’ Ren replied. ‘Amazingly enough there are other people who live in London besides you. Although I am starting to think that fate is intervening.’ His hazel eyes were sparkling. 

‘I don’t believe in fate.’ Hux said loftily. ‘I happen to think we make our own fate.’ 

‘Yeah?’ Ren said, catching his lower lip between his teeth for just a second, something that made Hux’s heart start beating traitorously fast. ‘Then how do you explain what happened last night? Was that you making the choice to end up in my chair?’ Hux’s eyes went wide with outrage and he bit back a thousand snarky responses.

‘You put me in that chair.’ he hissed. 

‘Only because you ran into me.’ Ren replied. ‘And I thought you looked like you needed some fun on your birthday. I bet it was the best one you’ve ever had.’ There was a knowing tone to his voice and Hux felt his face heat up as he remembered the last thing they had done while they were in each other’s company.

‘I have had better.’ he said, trying to sound casual and failing miserably. Ren’s smile was now so bright it could have lit up a dark room. 

‘No, you haven’t.’ he said and the certainty in his voice, the arrogance of his assumption made Hux splutter in indignation. 

‘I have to go.’ he said, grabbing the first box to hand and picking up his basket. ‘Excuse me.’ He stormed off, the sound of Ren’s chuckle in his ears. Horribly thrown, Hux got to the soft drinks and grabbed two bottles of Coke. He kept his eyes fixed straight ahead of him and headed for the cash desk, not daring to look around. When he got there he got in the queue and waited, tense and anticipating that deep drawl behind him. Thankfully the wait passed without incident and Hux got to the cashier. The young man scanned his things, and Hux was about to to ask her for his cigarettes when a tall figure arrived at the cashier next to his. He glanced to his right and saw Ren heaving his own basket onto the counter. He caught Hux’s look and grinned at him. Hux stared openly as Ren unloaded a litre bottle of Jack Daniels, a litre bottle of vodka, two boxes of French Fancies and a packet of Haribo Tangfastics. He looked up and saw that Ren was obviously finding his scandalised expression very funny. Then he very deliberately reached into the shopping basket and put down a ten pack of condoms and a pump bottle of lube on the counter, still holding Hux’s gaze. 

‘Someone’s in for a fun afternoon.’ his cashier said, her eyes wide.

‘Only if I can convince him to take me home.’ Ren said to her, nodding in Hux’s direction. ‘Can I also have two packs of Luckies, please?’ Hux went scarlet at his words and glared at him. 

‘Anything else, sir?’ his cashier asked, hiding a smile.

‘Two packets of Marlboro Gold.’ Hux said stiffly, turning back. He took the cigarettes from the cashier, shoved them in his pocket and took out his wallet. He handed the cashier his card, noticing that Ren was paying for his things with a few grubby looking twenties. He put his PIN in and took his card, the receipt and his things, hefting the bags and walking out the shop before Ren could catch up with him. 

He spotted a bus across the road and made a dash for it, trying to balance the bag of shopping and dig his wallet out again to get his Oyster card out. He was almost knocked over and raised a hand in apology as he made it to the other side just in time for the bus to pull away. Hux watched it go, and then slumped onto the bus stop seat.

‘Fuck.’ he said. A shadow fell across his feet. ‘Oh will you just please go away.’ The shadow didn’t move. 

‘Do you want me to go away?’ Ren asked and Hux looked up into a face that had lost all its arrogance. He was astonished to see that Ren looked almost concerned. Their eyes met. ‘I can if you want me to.’

And there it was. Hux thought about his beautifully appointed house, his successful career and the fact that getting dry humped by the very annoying and admittedly gorgeous man in front of him was the closest he’d come to a meaningful relationship with a human in over three years. To his complete and utter astonishment now that he was being offered the choice, Hux found he didn’t actually want Ren to go away.

‘Christ.’ he muttered. ‘I must be mad.’ 

Ren’s smile came back, like sunshine breaking through clouds. He looked at the oncoming bus.

‘Your place or mine?’ he asked and Hux got to his feet. He took in what Ren was wearing, the faded jeans, stretched out t-shirt and black hoodie tied around his waist. The man probably lived in some shoddy shared flat with some of the other reprobates he no doubt hung out with.

‘Mine.’ he said and held his hand out for the bus.

***********

They walked in silence from the bus stop until they got to the street Hux lived in. They got his front door and Ren whistled as he took in the terraced house Hux lived in. 

‘This is yours?’ he asked and Hux nodded as he opened the door. 

‘It is.’ he said, ushering Ren inside. Ren walked in, and Hus was heartened to see he wiped his feet on the mat before proceeding. That gave him hope. He came in behind him and chucked his things in the bowl. To his surprise, Ren took the bag from his hand so he could take off his jacket. He hung it up and was about to take the bag back when Ren held it out his reach.

‘I got it.’ he said. ‘Kitchen?’ Hux moved past him and Ren followed him from the hall into the kitchen at the back of the house. There was a bank of windows that looked over the terrace. Ren put the bags down and walked to stare out over the river. He looked back at Hux, smiling. ‘That’s one hell of a view.’ 

‘Thank you.’ Hux said. He was unsure of how to proceed. The last time he had had someone in the house that wasn’t Phasma had been a regrettable one night stand with a junior secretary in the building. 

Ren came back from the window and Hux moved out of his way as he came to the counter. He watched as Ren started to unpack the shopping, placing things on the counter rather haphazardly and snorting when he saw the pizzas. He folded the bags when he was done and then looked at Hux. 

‘Glasses?’ he asked. Hux pointed wordlessly at the cupboard to the left of him and Ren went digging, coming out with two highballs. He put them on the counter and then moved to the fridge/freezer, opening the freezer section and taking out a tray of ice cubes. Hus watched him pop two out for each glass and then replace it. That done, he picked up the vodka and cracked the seal, pouring in what could only be described as a generous measure.

‘You got any tonic?” he asked and Hux moved to the grocery cupboard and took out a new bottle. He handed it to Ren who took it, opened it and topped up the vodka. 

‘Limes?’ he asked and Hux went to the fridge. He had thought there was one hiding at the back but there wasn’t.

‘Out of luck I’m afraid.’ he said and jumped when he realised Ren was standing right behind him.

‘Wow.’ Ren said. ‘Bachelor lifestyle huh?’

‘That’s why I bought those.’ Hux said, nodding to the pizza. Ren scoffed.

‘We are not eating that shit.’ he said. ‘Get out of my way.’ He went to the same cupboard Hux had gotten the tonic from and scratched around in it. Hux watched him. 

‘What are you doing exactly?’ he asked an Ren came back out with a tin of chopped tomatoes, spaghetti and a packet of crushed chilli Hux had got in a gift pack and never opened. 

‘Cooking?’ he said like Hux was being thick. ‘Isn’t that why you were out? To get food?’ 

‘You’re cooking?’ Hux was confused. ‘But I thought…’

‘What?’ Ren grinned. ‘I’m not going to fuck you on an empty stomach. Trust me we’ll both need to carbo load.’

That shut Hux right up. He went to the other side of the counter and watched as Ren proceeded to get out a pan and then set it on the cooker. He had not a single culinary bone in his body and watched in fascination as Ren opened the bacon pieces and emptied them into the pan and then switched the cooker on.

‘What are you making?’ he asked. 

‘Spaghetti arrabiata.’ Ren said. ‘You good with chilli? I don’t want to make it too hot.’

‘I like it hot.’ Hux said without thinking. Then he realised what he’d said. Ren stared at him.

‘Fuck.’ he said, his voice flat. The he took two steps across the space that separated them and kissed Hux full on the mouth. Hux was taken aback, but thankfully his body still remembered how to respond and he did. Ren’s mouth was warm and firm and he tasted like cigarettes. He backed Hux up against the counter, his hands at Hux’s hips. They broke apart and Hux looked at him, trying to steady his breathing. His whole body felt like someone had taken a match to it. Ren smiled at him, his hand coming up to cup Hux’s face and his thumb smoothing over Hux’s bottom lip.

‘What?’ Hux asked, bemused by the look on Ren’s face.

‘Would you believe me if I said I wanted you from the moment you shoved me off and busted my balls for running into you?’ he asked. Hux frowned. 

‘Why?’ he asked. Now it was Ren’s turn to look confused. 

‘Because you’re hot as fuck?’ he laughed. ‘I have kind of a thing for red hair.’ 

‘Oh God.’ Hux said. Then he looked past Ren. ‘Um. Bacon.’

‘Shit.’ Ren turned back and whipped the pan off the lit ring of the cooker. ‘Sorry, I got a little carried away.’

‘That’s quite all right.’ Hux replied. He picked up the vodka tonic and sipped it, stifling the urge to choke at how strong it is. ‘How did you know what I drink?’

‘Your bar tab.’ Ren replied. He had rescued the bacon and was now pouring his own drink, a Jack and Coke that was so strong it was a very light colour. ‘Now go sit down, you’re distracting me.’ Hux went to the table and sat down. The kiss had made him horribly distracted as well.

‘Where did you learn how to cook?’ he asked, more for something to say than anything else.

‘My dad taught me.’ Ren replied. ‘And my uncle. Well he’s not really my uncle, he’s kind of an uncle but we’re not related or anything. He’s my father’s best friend. They were on the rally circuit together.’ Hux tried to follow the stream of consciousness way Ren spoke, then his brain caught the last bit of information.

‘Did you say rally circuit?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’ Ren said. He had somehow found garlic and an onion and was now chopping them up. Hux watched the deft way he handled the knife and found it far hotter than he thought it had a right to be. He scraped it all into the pan and stirred. Hux wondered where he’d managed to locate a wooden spoon because he’d had no idea he actually owned one. ‘What about you?’

‘What about me?’ Hux asked. 

‘What do you do?’ Ren asked. He opened the tomatoes and chucked them into the pan. The combined smells made Hux’s stomach growl. 

‘I work for the government.’ he said and Ren chuckled. 

‘I know that.’ he replied. ‘Your friend booked your table using a Whitehall credit card. Which department?’

‘MOD.’ Hux said. Ren now had a pot in his hands and was filling it with water. ‘I work in the Defence Secretary’s office.’

‘Fancy.’ Ren said. He put the pot on the stove and chucked in a handful of salt. He stirred the sauce again and then picked up his cigarettes. ‘Do you mind?’

‘No.’ Hux said. ‘So long as you throw me mine.’ Ren looked for the Marlboros and then lobbed them at him. Hux only just managed to catch them. He glared at Ren and got an unrepentant smile.

‘What?’ Ren said. ‘You said throw.’

‘Fuck off.’ Hux retorted. He stripped off the cellophane and took one out, then realised that he did not have a lighter. Ren was taking his own cigarette out when he saw this and came around the counter, digging in his pocket to unearth a battered silver Zippo that he lit and held out. Hux looked at the flame and then at him. He leaned forward and lit his cigarette and Ren lifted the lighter to his own. Hux inhaled deeply as he watched him.

‘You have terrible taste in cigarettes.’ he said. Ren exhaled lazily. 

Thanks.’ he replied. Their eyes met again and now Hux could really feel it, the tension between them. 

‘This is possibly the most bizarre thing I have ever done in my life.’ he announced.

‘It’s not so weird.’ Ren said. ‘You going to have lunch with me and then when we’re done we’re going to go upstairs and have so much sex we’re both going to pass out.’ He grinned at Hux. 

‘I don’t even know you.’ Hux replied. 

‘That’s why I bought condoms.’ Ren supplied, rather unhelpfully in Hux’s opinion. He gave him a look. ‘Jesus you really over-think shit.’ He was back in the kitchen, cigarette dangling from his lips and Hux had thoughts about ash in food and how unsanitary it was. ‘You know what, fuck this. It can wait.’ He switched off the sauce and the water and Hux frowned. Then Ren came out of the kitchen again and his hazel eyes had a new intensity. When he got to Hux, he reached down and took the cigarette from his hand and killed it in the ash tray Hux kept on the table. Then he did the same with his own and held out his hand. ‘I think we need to go upstairs.’ 

‘Upstairs?’ Hux echoed.

‘Yeah.’ Ren said. ‘Unless you want to fuck down here?’ 

‘No.’ Hux said, just managing to stop it sounding like his voice was shaking. ‘Upstairs is fine.’ He reached out, a little hesitant, and took Ren’s hand. Ren pulled him to his feet and Hux was about to move when he bent down at the waist and the next thing Hux knew he was being hoisted over Ren’s shoulder the exact same way he had been the previous night. 

‘Fucking hell!’ he exclaimed and Ren laughed. 

‘Grab your cigarettes.’ he said and turned so Hux could pick them up off the table. Then he carted Hux into the kitchen to pick up the condoms, lube and his own Lucky Strikes. ‘Which way?’ 

‘Up the stairs.’ Hux replied. ‘That’s traditionally where the upstairs is.’ 

The slap on his arse was both completely unexpected and extremely arousing.

‘You are not going to shut up, are you?’ Ren said as they walked into the hall. 

‘Not unless you make me.’ Hux was now giddy from a combination of the Ren’s show of strength and the thought that he was about to have sex for the first time in three years and so throwing caution to the wind was the least of his worries.

Ren laughed and carried him up the stairs.


	4. Collision Course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh yes. 3k of smut. Because they're animals...

The climb upstairs turned out to be fraught with danger. Hux nearly missed being decapitated as Ren bounded up, astounding him with his physical strength and making him a little nervous with his enthusiasm. Eventually they got the landing and Ren stopped then turned around in a circle, making Hux feel dizzy.

‘That way.’ he said, pointing at his bedroom door and then realising that Ren couldn’t see him. ‘Behind you.’

‘Oh. Right.’ Ren turned and charged through the door of his bedroom and Hux sighed. He was like a Great Dane puppy, all gangly limbs and if he’d had a tail it would no doubt have knocked everything off every horizontal surface in the place. Once they were in though, Ren gave a loud exclamation of delight and deposited Hux back on his feet.

‘You have a cat!’ he said and immediately went to the bed where Millicent was still lying curled up amongst the rumpled sheets. Hux watched him crouch down so he was eye level with her. ‘Hi kitty!’ Millicent unfolded herself and got up, padding across to say hello. Ren dumped the condoms, lube and his cigarettes on the bedside table and waited for her to get to him, rubbing his head against hers. Hux was quite frankly astonished by the smitten look on Ren’s face. Millicent was now nose to nose with him and she mewed. Ren laughed and mewed back and a very odd conversation began. The whole thing was unexpectedly adorable and Hux felt a funny little lurch in his stomach. He came over and put his cigarettes down next to Ren’s.

‘Her name is Millicent.’ he said and Ren smiled up at him. Then he looked back at Millicent and lifted a hand to scratch behind her ears. 

‘Hi Millie.’ he said. ‘I’m Kylo.’ Hux couldn’t help smiling.

‘I thought you’d come here to seduce me, not my cat.’ he said. Ren laughed again and stood up. 

‘Why can’t I do both?’ he asked and Hux looked at the deep dark eyes and felt a tug in his chest. 

‘Kylo.’ he said in an effort to cover up the arousal that was now very definitely setting in. ‘I thought that was just your stage name.’

‘Nope.’ Kylo said. He reached down and picked Millicent up, cuddling her to his chest and Hux was amazed to see that Millicent was allowing him to. Normally she scratched all newcomers indiscriminantly. ‘It’s my real name. Changed by deed poll and everything.’ He grinned at Hux. 

‘So it’s not your birth name?’ Hux asked and Ren snorted loudly.

‘No.’ he replied. ‘Let’s just say that my family’s not so happy with what I do for a living so the fewer associations, the better. He shrugged, his hand buried in the soft fur of Millicent’s stomach. ‘This makes things a lot less messy and means I don’t have to deal with my parent’s bullshit.’

‘Fair enough.’ Hux said. He decided that Millicent looked far too comfortable and went over to Ren, taking her from his arms. Millicent blinked at him and then struggled madly until he dropped her. She stalked out the room with her tail in the air. Ren laughed.

‘So what’s yours, Major Hux? he asked and Hux turned sharply and looked at him. 

‘How did you…’ he started and Ren smiled properly this time, crooked teeth and all. He stepped very deliberately into Hux’s space and Hux felt his heart start to jackhammer at his physical proximity. 

‘One of the KPs has a brother who works at Yuautcha.’ he said. ‘At the risk of sounding like a complete stalker, I may have asked him to find out about you.’ He grinned at Hux’s appalled expression. ‘I told you I wanted you. And when I find something I want, I kind of break the rules to get it. If it’s any consolation, you’re one of their favourite customers.’ 

‘Oh?’ Hux suddenly felt ridiculously pleased. ‘What did they say about me?’

‘That you’re extremely well-mannered, tip over the going rate and probably have a fucking huge stick up your ass.’ Ren said. ‘Let’s just say I’m very keen about investigating that last part.’ His moved his hands to Hux’s belt, undoing it and flicking out of the loops with a dangerous sounding snap.

‘Bloody hell!’ Hux said, horribly impressed in spite of himself. He stared as Ren dropped it on the floor and started on the buttons of his jeans, not quite believing what was happening. He looked at Ren’s face, the frown of concentration making Ren look unbelievably cute. ‘Oh dear.’ 

‘You haven’t seen the half of it.’ Ren was smug. ‘And you still haven’t told me your name.’ The low pitch of his voice made Hux’s cock stand to attention, the light brushes of Ren’s fingertips starting to send little electric shocks through him. 

‘And I’m not going to.’ he replied, quite proud of himself for not sounding like he was about to explode. Then Ren shoved his hand down the front of Hux’s jeans and all coherent though went flying out the window, especially when those long fingers tightened over his cock. He bit his lower lip in an attempt to stifle his moan. It didn’t work and Hux let out a sound that was embarrassingly loud. It had an immediate effect on Ren and he pulled his hand out and tugged at the hem of Hux’s t-shirt, hauling it over his head the moment Hux lifted his arms. He chucked it over Hux’s shoulder and then dragged his fingers down Hux’s chest, setting off the worst case of raging hormones Hux had had since he was a sub-altern.

‘Damn.’ Ren said. ‘I like this.’ His eyes were raking over Hux’s body. His voice was noticeably thicker. He got hold of Hux’s upper arms and starting walking him over to the bed, stopping when Hux’s legs hit the edge, then picked him up as if he weighed nothing and threw him on the bed. Hux bounced among the pillows and then scrambled over to right himself. 

‘Bloody hell.’ he exclaimed. ‘You are ridiculously strong.’ Ren grabbed one of his feet, taking off his shoe and tossing it in the general direction of the floor.

‘Occupational hazard.’ he said, grabbing for Hux’s other foot. ‘I have to be strong enough to hold myself up on the pole.’ 

‘Oh my God.’ Hux said. ‘You pole dance too?’ Ren chuckled.

‘I do.’ he said. ‘Maybe you could come watch some time. Not now though. Now, I just want you to come.’ Hux went scarlet.

‘Fuck.’ he said, all sorts of ideas popping into his head and most of them to do with vertical surfaces. He watched Ren straighten up and reach back to pull his own shirt off. Up close his defnied torso was even more impressive and Hux itched to get his hands on him. In the dim light of his bedroom (he hadn’t bothered to open the curtains that morning) Ren’s well-honed body was all shadows and contours. Hux felt the most awful urge to run his tongue over every line and ripple. Ren’s broad chest was smooth and he wondered if it was another occupational hazard. There was a light trail of dark hair down from his stomach into his jeans.

Ren caught his look and his smile turned predatory. He ran his hand down over the front of his jeans and Hux followed it as if hypnotised. He kept watching as Ren unbuttoned his own jeans, then shimmied out of them and his briefs until he could kick them away. Hux’s eyes were immediately drawn down as he straightened up, and what he saw between Ren’s legs was enough to make him inhale sharply.

‘Good God.’ he said before he could stop himself. Ren moved his hand over himself, stroking his cock lazily. Hux swallowed noisily as he walked to the bed. He drew up one knee, kneeling on the bed and then getting on so he was able to shuffle forward on his knees until he could tug at Hux’s jeans, dragging them off. There was a brief smile at Hux’s Union Jack boxers. 

‘That’s very patriotic of you, Major.’ he said. ‘Top or bottom?’

‘Christ.’ Hux was still staring at the very impressive cock on front of him. ‘I think I’ll need to work up to that. Top, please.’

‘No sweat.’ Ren replied. ‘I was kind of hoping you’d say that.’ 

‘Not that I am against the other.’ Hux said, rambling now as he realised how close Ren was to him. ‘Maybe later?’ Then he realised the implications of what he’d just said. he started to protest that he wasn’t in fact assuming ren would hang around, but Ren got there first. He leaned over Hux, kissing him lightly. 

‘Whatever you want.’ he murmured. ‘So, how do you want me? I could ride you or you could fuck my ass with me on my knees.’ Hux started to feel dizzy with anticipation.

‘I really don’t mind.’ he said, breathless. Lust was now surging through him like wildfire. 

‘Sweet.’ Ren was even closer. ‘Could I kiss you again first, though? Hux nodded frantically and Ren crossed the last inch separating them. His mouth lingered on Hux’s this time, not the drive by affair of the kitchen. Instead Ren took his time, licking slowly into Hux’s mouth and their tongues tangled in a lazy dance. Hux let himself melt back into the bed and Ren followed him until he was lying on top of him. The skin on skin contact was almost too much and Hux moaned into Ren’s mouth as he felt his cock slide in along his own. Ren had a hand at his neck, deepening the kiss until it felt like they were drowning in each other as it turned greedy and demanding, both of them going harder and faster until their mouths were slippery with saliva. Hux could feel how hard they both were and it made him whine and thrust up against Ren. Ren broke away, panting hard in his ear. He leaned over and grabbed the lube and box of condoms. He handed the pump bottle to Hux.

‘Do me.’ he said and Hux frowned a little.

‘It’s been a while.’ he said. ‘I should probably warn you that I probably rusty as fuck.’

‘How long exactly?” Ren was tearing at the cellophane with his teeth. He opened the box and a shower of condoms fell out over him. 

‘Three years.’ Hux said. ‘You may need to guide me.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’ Ren grinned. ‘When I start screaming, you’ll know you’ve hit my prostate.’ He turned back over and kissed Hux again, messy and wet. ‘I’m very fucking loud.’ 

‘Fucking hell.’ Hux nearly fell over himself in his rush to get the lube cap off and pump some onto his fingers. It was too much and his fingers were slick with it. He turned and Ren moved off him onto his side, slinging one leg over Hux’s hip. He started kissing along Hux’s jaw and Hux reached down, soft sin under his fingertips as he felt around tentatively. His fingertips ghosted over Ren’s entrance and Ren moaned into his neck. 

‘Do it.’ he breathed, biting just hard enough for Hux to nearly stop breathing. ‘Stick them in me.’

The first stroke was heaven and Hux had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from babbling about how good it felt. He pressed in and Ren gasped as his finger penetrated him. 

‘Fuck.’ His voice was rough. ‘Yes.’

‘Yes?’ Hux was still a little out of practice but he started to work Ren open, taking his time. Ren was squirming against his hand and Hux felt a wonderful burst of confidence at the noises he was making, little huffs and moans into his neck. He felt along carefully until…

‘FUCK!’ Ren all but shouted in his ear. ‘Right fucking there!’ He arched against Hux. ‘Do that again.’ Hux complied, pressing in against Ren’s prostate and Ren did a full body shiver, his breathing starting to come hard and fast. He was moving now, pushing back onto Hux’s finger and Hux sped up his own movements. It was utterly thrilling to have this gorgeous man in thrall to what he was doing and he tried not to get off on it too much. He slowed and Ren gave a breathy huff of annoyance.

‘More.’ he demanded and Hux hesitated. Then he pressed in with a second finger and this was rewarded with another bite to his neck.

‘Better?’ he asked, a little snarky. Ren licked at where he’d bitten him. 

‘Now fuck me with them.’ he purred in Hux’s ear. 

‘Jesus Christ.’ Hux started to move his hand, picking up speed and driving in with his fingers. Ren was hanging onto him, fingers digging into his skin.

‘Harder.’ he hissed and Hux couldn’t help himself. He bit at the shoulder closest to him, licking the constellation of dark freckles scattered across Ren’s olive skin. The slickness and the sound of his fingers moving in and out of Ren’s body was horribly exciting and he was dimly aware that he was rubbing his cock against Ren in a very undignified way. Worse still, he didn’t give a fuck that he was doing it. He felt Ren tighten around his fingers and gritted his teeth.

‘I don’t think I can wait anymore.’ he gritted out and Ren pulled back from him, his dark eyes wide. 

‘So fuck me.’ he said. His eyes were full of defiance and it woke up something inside Hux, something that had been dormant for a long time. He pulled his fingers out and got to his knees, manhandling Ren onto his stomach. Ren went easily, his breathing hitching in excitement. He started to life himself up and Hux shoved him back down, pulling his legs apart and moving between them. He ran one hand down the elegant length of Ren’s spine and reached for one of the discarded condoms, ripping it open with some difficulty and putting it on. He grabbed the lube and emptied more into his hand, slicking himself up and rubbing the excess over Ren’s entrance. Ren was face down in the bed, his moans getting more strident with every breath. Hux grinned to himself, a little maniacal and then gave Ren a resounding smack on the backside in retaliation for the one he’d been given earlier. He was now feeling a lot braver than he had been.

‘On your knees.’ He instructed, usuing his authoritative voice that had Mitaka and Thanisson jumping to do his bidding. ‘And open your legs.’ Ren chuckled, deep and wicked.

‘Now this I really fucking like.’ He moved into position, casting a challenging look over his shoulder at Hux. ‘Put your cock in me, Major.’

‘You.’ Hux gripped his hip and guided himself in. The first push into Ren’s tight heat almost undid him, but he breathed in deeply and made himself relax. 

‘God.’ Ren moaned. ‘Your cock feels so fucking good. I want it all the way in.’ He flexed and the muscles in his back and shoulder moved effortlessly under his skin. Hux thought that he could quite happily stare at them for hours. He steadied himself and thrust once, feeling Ren’s body open up and take him. He bottomed out, breathing hard and barely able to even string words together. 

‘How do you want it?’ he asked and Ren laughed into the bed. 

‘Hard.’ he said. ‘Fuck my ass until it hurts.’ His words lit a fire inside Hux and he took hold of Ren’s other hip and started to move. The first few thrusts were stilted, but then he found his rhythm and Kylo started moaning almost continuously, his voice loud in the silence of Hux’s bedroom. He was gripping the sheets, his dark head forward and his hair hanging in a curtain around his face. Hux felt an urge steal over him and he leaned forward just enough to grab a handful of it, thick and silky as it tangled in his fingers. He pulled Ren’s head back and Ren yelled and clenched around him. Hux lost control of himself, yanking hard at Ren’s hair and driving into him, the sound of their bodies impacting in his ears. His own moans were drowned out by Kylo’s loud cries as he pushed back into every thrust. 

‘You like that?’ he hissed, unable to help himself. Ren groaned like he was dying and nodded frantically.

‘You fuck me so good.’ he panted. ‘Make me come. Please.’ He whined as Hux moved his other hand and reached around beneath them. Ren’s cock was even thicker than he’d expected, filling his hand. It felt so good, the skin soft and smooth and Hux stroked hard, two, three times and Ren screamed. He arched back so hard he almost threw Hux off and Hux felt him come all over his hand. Ren was clenching hard around him as he came and Hux let go. When it hit, it was enough to make him cry out once and come deep inside Ren. He fell forward, ignoring the fact that he was holding on with his soiled hand, biting at the smooth skin of Ren’s back as he rode the wave of aftershocks that eventually bought him back down. Underneath him, Ren was fighting for breath. Hux waited until he could trust himself to speak again.

‘Well.’ he said. ‘That was far better than I was expecting it to be.’ 

‘Are you kidding?’ Ren laughed hoarsely. ‘That’s one of the best fucks I’ve had in ages.’ He struggled back onto his hands and stretched, tightening around Hux’s cock and making Hux shudder. ‘I can’t wait for round two.’ 

‘Jesus Christ.’ Hux snickered at him. ‘Please tell me I haven’t gotten involved with some sort of sexual pervert.’ 

Ren laughed as Hux pulled out of him then collapsed face first into the bed and gave him a thumbs up.


End file.
